Got brass....in pocket? (or in your bra)

Out of the darkness...Into the black....The newest invention to come out of nowhere (or out of Kramerica) is a bra. Today's New York Post (my daily beacon of enlightenment) has shed light on the emerging revolution amongst nagging, biological clock driven women looking for a catalyst to put their life-partners back on the chain gang. It's not your standard mammary support structure that has evolved as tastes, culture and Madonna has changed.

We sometimes wonder whether the rest of the civilized world is passing us by. Coming out to Japan is the newest way to induce a marriage: The Konkatsu brassiere. While it doesn't have the diamonds that Heidi Klum did on her $8 million dollar support device, this bra has a few things that a woman could use to speed up the commitment process: a ticking clock, heart shaped oven mitts (perfect for those breakfast in bed mornings), and when a successful proposal is garnered, a place for when the diamond or ring pop is accepted to put it in, unlocking a serenading of "Here Comes the Bride" ("Canon in D" will be available in future models). Frankly, with all those bells and whistles, I don't think even MacGuyver himself would get picked off heading to 2nd base with a lady wearing that thing.

With the economy tanking faster than Hanson's career after the summer of 1997, conventional wisdom (& probably Dr. Hibbard) states that people have been re-examining their priorities. Instead of "me", there's a focus on being able to share in the joys of selflessness and commitment.

As humans, we hate to be pressured to do things we know we are going to get around to when we feel like it. Not to sound overly simplistic, but when your mom used to (or still) implores that you clean your room. You don't do it that second, drop everything your doing to go and do it. You do it when it's time. There are many reasons that the divorce rate is staggering in this country. If any good can be seen in this economy, maybe individuals will say "I Do" because they're in love and not because he fits some sort of checklist-like criterion, as well as provide the house in Sag Harbor and the token

Now here's relationship advice from the 26-year old who has only had long-term relationships with the only label worse than communism in a Giants fan's eyes: Philadelphia Eagles fans. I don't think we need a fem-bot bra to tell people it's time to get married. (but maybe it will come in handy in proper cookie baking times) I guess, when you know, you know. Dating is in many respects like the favorite game of my youth: Super Mario Brothers. You keep on going to different levels and through different levels. Sometimes you fall in the pit and sometimes you're told after you get to a level or two by the Mushroom-headed Toad, "Thank you Mario, but the Princess is in another castle".

I don't know what level of the classic game that the nuptual-catalyst bra would fit in. But, if I had to guess, I'd probably place it in the "Game Over" category.